I noe i haf blogged about the Middle Child Syndrome or MCS in short before.

But lately,ive been thinking.I evaluate myself.i asked myself why do i feel dat i dont belong in the family or rather ive been askin dat qns all my life.Mum and dad acted like they dont care bout me.Priority will always be given to the eldest and the youngest.Growing up,i always thought im the weird one in the family.The inability of expressing my sadness or madness to mum is always hard.when im sad,i juz locked myself in the room and cry and when im mad,i juz slammed the door hard and blast the music loud.That's the way i express myself.

Anyways,i was checking out the MCS again and found something which i totally can relate to.

"Ok well i know reading others stories and comparing in to my own helps me feel better. So i think sharing some of my views on MCS might help me and hopefully some other poor person who feels the same way i do.

It is true before i saw the doc on tv about it...i did not think this middle child syndrome thing was real. Then as soon as i saw it like usual things in my life i was happy to compare and see that i was not mad and it is real and maybe thats why i feel this way!.

Everyone has a different story really...we all have a different family etc. Still i get annoyed when oldest and youngest children comment on MCS being 'BS' since the way i feel i always feel that if you are not middle child then you would not understand what its like.

Im 18 and my older sister is in her 20's (i do not even like to call her sister). My brother is like 12 so he is younger, and teh brat of the family of course.

At first growing up i did not even feel i was a middle child untill after my brother was older and i did not need to take care of him so much (i always helped out not my sister).

Even though i get along with my brother sometimes, he is so rude and a complete brat! he is rude to my parents and they sit back and take it. Yet when i was younger i did not get to be like that, not that i would. I just became snappy and got in bad moods all the time.

I hate my sister above all, my parents always told me i would grow out of it but that is not true. I would not say she was better than me i do not feel she is although she was more popular at school has more friends etc. I liked being my own person, although i was always the wierd shy one out.

I hated her for always complaining that i get spoilt more than her! when its so clear my parents always listen to her before me!. They will always encourage her and listen to her life details, i never feel like i get asked enough about how i feel and how i am.

I know i could be better at subjects but i just lost interest in doing well over time, there for failed more and my self esteem hit a lower turn. Everything i did i have tried to do better than the oldest, i always want to be better than her so my parents would look at me and see that im smart and what not.

Or i think it is because i want the attention...im not a drinking, party person at all like some of my friends and it makes me feel left out since i wish i could be more open. I did turn to smoking, drinking,...even cutting once when all my bottled up hurt and emotions came rushing out and crying does not help anymore. But i get a grip of myself and tell myself to do better and not to fall into the middle child bad side.

To cut the story short i just think for all those parents who want to know what the problem is:

Look at the situation! middle child for me always feels 'piggy in the middle'. Like there is no place for middle since 'oldest' sounds good and 'youngest' sounds great but 'middle' does not sound so nice. We hate it if we cannot fit in as oldest since that spot is taken and even more so that we cannot get away for youngest! since that spot is also taken...so what can we do to fit in?.

I started to blame all my problems on being middle and tell my mum 'if i was not middle i would not be having this!' sometimes it did feel like an excuse. but my parents always brush it off! my mother is teh worst she says im an attention seeker and that me and my friends made up this whole middle child thing!!!! ><

that is when a parent is bad when they do not acknowledge their mistakes or even listen to the child. I do not like hugging, or kissing and find it weird when my friends family want to welcome me like that..since i was not used to it in my own family. I have always looked after myself where as my sister depends on my parents like mad.

My brother for being a brat is pretty smart although he is a bit of a trouble maker, he is the fav and my parents adore him for being the only boy. This is why i sometimes blame him when im angry and get the blame for what he does since i think if he was not born i would of got the attention i deserve and not be bullied so much by the oldest and youngest.

Since both brother and sister get along since they have more in common. I think middle children will find they

1) are creative! in most of the fields like art, music, dance etc and have great ideas

2) bottle up feelings feel uncomfortable talking about things with ppl, feel insecure

3) always have your few friends you keep close who you feel make up for your family since they do not give you enough attention at home

4) independent look after your self kind of atitude and are not afraid to be different and are happy for it.

the list could go on..... the plus side is i will not be afraid to leave hom like my other siblings. I have always wanted to get out i feel like i am sometimes in a prison i just want freedom and to do well abd be myself with out feeling 2nd or 3rd best.

Also it helps hearing about all those famous ppl who were middle children, so we see we can do well in life!! we just have to get away and be happy with our selves then it will not affect you again.

It has had an affect on the way i am i know, like for one i do not want lets say 3 children or something because i never want one to be in the middle like i was! i guess being middle has made me think of others first all the time. If i has a middle child i think it would be unfair because i am more likely to spoil them more to make up for what i did not get in my years growing up.

yet we do not always turn out like our parents, if anything i have learnt to be nothing like them. I do not look like them, i do not act lik my siblings that is sometimes the problem because i am different they think its strange they just do not understand.

Remember if you have a middle child they will always feel different from your other kids, and sensitive to you picking sides or doing something for one and not the other.

ups and downs for middle children for all the downs we get remember we will be more happy to learn and find our selves.

Posted by: Jolin | January 05, 2007 at 05:51 PM "

My elder bro is 28.As far as i can remember,he's the one with a lots of friends.Someone popular.Someone wif girls fall on his feet.But he's married with one kid and i must say he's still the same as he was b4.

My younger sis is 17.Like my brother,she too has a lot of friends.Someone popular.Someone wif guys fall on his feet.

For me,i grew up unable to relate and connect to ppl.i had a really small group of close friends and avoided social gatherings.And time passed,i became an introvert n listening songs in my own company.

I rememebered when i was younger,i hid under the bed for god noes how long.I tot no one will miss me if im gone.I eventually fell asleep under the bed.My bro found me under the bed and if im not wrong,i got a earful from mum for doin dat kind of stunt.

I totally agree with Jolin on this.

middle children will find they

1) are creative! in most of the fields like art, music, dance etc and have great ideas ->i agree wif that.

2) bottle up feelings feel uncomfortable talking about things with ppl, feel insecure-> totally true.I always bottle up my feelings.

3) always have your few friends you keep close who you feel make up for your family since they do not give you enough attention at home ->100% true!!!i spent most of times wif frenz instead of my family.And at home,i will lock myself in the room and basically blast the music.

4) independent look after your self kind of atitude and are not afraid to be different and are happy for it. ->i agree wif that.I rarely call home when i go travelling wif my friends.hahahah.Its like im on my own n i haf no family kind of feeling.

But of coz,when mum shows her concerned,i will get all emotionally chocked up and realised that mum do care but its for dat time of the day.Its not everyday kind of thing.

Growing up,i never had my mum tellin me she love me but of coz stuffs dat she did do shows she love and care for me.Little things like pulling up blanket for u.

I guess being a middle child haf its own pros and cons.love it or hate it.

In the end,i quote from Jolin "ups and downs for middle children for all the downs we get remember we will be more happy to learn and find our selves."

Cheers to all the middle child!